Deus Ex - Want, Should, Could
by MetalPorSiempreDA
Summary: Men like Juan Ivanovich Lebedev didn't have relationships with women like Anna Kelso.


Deus Ex series developed by Ion Storm, Eidos Montreal, N-Fusion Interactive, Square Enix Montreal. Published by Eidos Interactive, Square Enix.

* * *

As Janus avatar dissolved into static on the screen, Anna Kelso turned around to abandon the tent.

Briefing over, back to work.

She was stopped by the sound of someone clearing their throat behind her. "Miss Kelso, may I have a word with you?"

Anna turned around to find Lebedev, and her brow furrowed. She had told him sometime ago to drop the formalities (in fact, she was on a first name basis with most of the Collective and the New Sons) and he had complied almost immediately. Something was wrong.

She saw Garvin Quinn lingering at the exit of the tent, but before she could say anything, Lebedev shot him a glare that said he had nothing to do there anymore, and the man hurried out.

Something was definitely wrong.

"Sure."

Silence.

"About anything in particular?"

"I'm sorry." Lebedev took a few steps towards Anna, closing the distance between them. "I am generally better with words."

Was it her or he looked flustered? "What's wrong? You can tell…"

"I love you." He blurted out, and one of his hands automatically grabbed Anna's, in fear she would storm out.

"Bullshit." She retorted. It was an instinctual response. He could not be talking seriously. Men like Juan Ivanovich Lebedev didn't have relationships with women like her. Even within the circles of the Collective and the New Sons their positions were miles apart.

Anna thought back to Garvin lingering at the tent's entry: this was a set up to make fun of her. The thought, something she would have never even considered possible, hurt her. "You are lying." She accused with fury.

He had been ready for rejection. In fact, he had been expecting to be rejected. The only reason why he had forced himself to come clean about his feelings for her was a belief it would be dishonest not to do so.

But the anger and hurt in her accusation took him aback. "No. Anna, why would I lie about this?"

"You are making fun of me." She pulled away from him.

"No. Anna, please."

"Then give me a reason. One. What could you possible love about me?" She could feel her eyes watering, and hated the fact she didn't even have her sunglasses to hide behind.

"You are brave. You are strong. You are intelligent. You are beautiful."

"Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit!" Anna spat back. "If I was intelligent I would still have my job. I'm weak and stupid and reckless. You know it, I know it, everybody knows it." She shook a fist in the space between them, her sobriety coin between her fingers. "I keep fucking up over the same things, no matter how many times I try. I'm not even nice to look at: I'm flat, my hair is a mess…"

This was definitely not how he had expected the conversation to unfold. It was honestly a miracle that their argument had not already attracted the attention of the whole base.

Gently, he wrapped a hand around her fist. "A stupid person wouldn't have uncovered one of the world's deepest conspiracies." He paused, taking a deep breath. "And, yes, you are reckless, impulsive and frustratingly stubborn so fucking much of the time. But you are definitely not weak. Otherwise you wouldn't have survived what killed plenty of others." Another pause. "And I could spend the rest of my life doing nothing but looking at you and it wouldn't have been a waste."

He kissed her fist and looked up at her. "I'm telling you I love you. All I want to know is if you will give me a chance."

Anna looked at their hands. "Just how would this work? I'm a fugitive. We can't be seen together."

He placed another kiss to her fist. "We will figure it out. Plenty of people in here are technically fugitives, yet they have lives out there. After some time has passed, and things have settled, you can have a new identity. And we can see to stay close… if you want."

Anna's fist unclenched, and her fingers intertwined with his. She took a couple steps forward, closing the distance between them.

Did she want this? Should she have this?

After all, anything and anyone she loved, they could take from her. Fighting was so much easier when you had already lost everything.

She took his other hand in hers. He leaned down, resting his forehead on hers.

Finally, her lips reached out to his and they kissed. When they parted, Anna's hands wrapped behind the back of his neck, Lebedev's cusped her face. He brought her closer, they kissed again, deeply.

"That…" Anna spoke when they parted. "would be a yes."

"FUCKING FINALLY!"

The voice came from outside of the tent, and was followed by the audible gasp of a group that realizes they have given themselves away.

Anna drew the tent open, and could feel the blood rushing to her face. Behind her, Lebedev went pale.

Easily more than a dozen people stood in front of them. Anna quickly identified the speaker as Alejandra Vega, and glared at the men standing by her side. "Ben. Garvin."

Before she could go on, Lebedev recovered behind her. "JUST. WHAT. IS. EVERYONE. DOING. HERE?" He roared, and a significant part of their public seemingly dissolved into thin air.

Anna's eyes remained fixated on Ben Saxon and Garvin Quinn, Alejandra having discretely begun to move away.

"Come on, Anna." Saxon began. "We have been waiting for you two to get it together for weeks."

Anna snarled, retiring back to within the tent. She and Lebedev eyed the screen, covered in static, suspiciously.

"You were listening in, too, weren't you?" Anna accused.

The static seemed to momentarily temp to reform into an human shape before it fell disorganised again. "I'm sorry." The disembodied digital voice spoke. "But it's as Mr. Saxon said. You two have no idea how frustrating you have been to watch recently."

* * *

**Notes:**

No popular or canon ships. We sink in our canoes like men.

For reference, I ship Anna Kelso with Juan Lebedev. Yes, it's crack. No, I don't care. Yes, you are invited to jump on board this angst fuelled canoe.

Potentially part of a series of oneshots centred round First Times.


End file.
